Relationships – Page 2 – Shape Your Happiness

Does it feel like social media is running your life? When our minds are wrapped up in what our friends are posting, the latest celebrity gossip, and instant shocking news, it’s hard to focus on the things that matter most. There’s no denying that social media plays a huge role in how our society operates today. Are you questioning whether a break from social media is right for you? Social media can affect our emotions, invade our privacy, and take up a lot of our time. Taking a break gives you the freedom to focus on what’s important to you while giving you better emotional management. Social media has both benefits and disadvantages, but most of us know that too much of anything isn’t good. Social media can help us make friendships or romantic connections. It provides us with constant entertainment and might even land you your next job. However, there are just as many benefits to giving yourself a little break. A Break Can Bring Emotional Freedom Social media likely has more control over your emotions than you may be comfortable admitting. There’s no denying that social media can cause feelings of depression or anxiety depending on the person and situation. The proof is in the numbers! In this post, we have 9 reasons why you should, at the very least, take a break from social media. One of the most important reasons is that it will provide you with control over how you feel once again. All day long we see perspectives from other people, and sometimes that can be draining on our mental state. Reason #1: Your Mood Will Improve Whenever you get online, social media is there on offer up millions of other people. All of them have opinions, styles, and ideas that we take in. Sometimes this can make us feel good, but often it leaves us feeling bad. You might see someone’s opinion that doesn’t agree with yours, forcing you to call your beliefs into question and evaluate some darker subject material. All of this could happen while you’re on your five-minute bathroom break from work! Studies emerge on social media and the psychological effects thereof more frequently than ever before and for good reason. Just take a look at some of these shocking statistics: Over 50% of individuals are afraid they will miss out on something if they aren’t constantly on social media. Over 50% of female users have stated they are addicted to social media. 50% of users agree that Facebook and Twitter make their lives worse (Ahmad, 2018). We know that social media affects us negatively and yet it’s still so hard to look away. Getting a “like” on a post or a tweet can have the same effects on the brain as certain addictions, such as gambling or drugs (McSweeny, 2019). As most of us know, drug addicts don’t enjoy life without their drug, meaning many of us can be walking around irritable and grumpy when we don’t get our “fix.” This can alter the way that you view yourself. If you post a picture that doesn’t get a “like,” you won’t provide your brain with that fulfilled craving, leaving you feeling empty and desperate for that rush. Not only does it change the way we view our happiness, but it can also alter the perspective we have on the world. Reason #2: You Can Develop a New Perspective Social media is all about catering the perfect shot. You can go online and create an entirely fake idea of the person that you are now. You can filter your face and use post-editing effects to change the shape of your body. All of this can leave us desperately wanting to live in the reality we created online, while also being envious of what others have created as well. The person that posts pictures of their family will make sure that everyone looks polished and sharp. What they won’t show is the forty-five minutes it took to get everyone showered, dressed, and ready for the camera. They won't show the 20 other pictures of people crying or with their eyes closed. We can create an entirely false perspective of our lives online. This leaves us feeling disconnected from our own reality. You might not enjoy your vacation and instead worry about looking good for pictures. You might not view the actual events of the night and instead focus on what shots you want to take. Take a look at this chart to see just how different social media can look for some: What Followers See The Reality A cute baby smiling in their crib - 6 out of 7 sleepless nights for the week- The baby puked in their crib right after the picture- The picture was the only 2 minutes the baby hasn’t cried in a week A flawless tanned gym body posting in front of the mirror - The 10 hours dedicated to the gym in a week- A sore back from working out too hard - The stinky gym clothes and sweat rash from the workout A fancy ice cream cone in downtown New York City - Waiting in line for over an hour at the trendy ice cream shop - A $12 ice cream cone and $5 expected tip for quality that wasn’t that great - The crowded street, pigeons hopping around looking for gum, and litter piling up on the sidewalk A girl posting in a fancy apartment for a mirror picture - A pile of dirty laundry out of the frame - Unpaid electric bills - Only $35 in her bank account We can create whatever reality we want online, and while that might provide temporary happiness, it only causes long-term disconnection. Social Media Messes With Your Self-Esteem Social media can drastically affect the way that we view ourselves, leading to the level of self-esteem we experience. Research continues to show that the more social media is used, usually the more it affects your overall self-esteem. Check out this video from Mayo Clinic about how teens of today are negatively affected: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnGZ28pviOM This self-esteem destroyer can affect the things we choose to do and our level of happiness experienced throughout the day. Reason #3: You Won’t Constantly Make Unfair Comparisons Whenever we get online, there are an endless number of people we can compare ourselves to. As we already discussed, the perspective we create can be very different. You end up comparing the worst version of yourself to the best version that somebody else has posted online. If you look in the mirror and don't like your body, you might think that you have too much cellulite or maybe unsightly stretch marks. Perhaps your wrinkles and blemishes are one of your biggest points of insecurity. Then, if you go online to any of the top followed celebrities, it's easy to see that they have perfect and flawless skin. Many of us know that Photoshop is commonly used for editorial pictures, but we also forget how different creams, expensive lighting, and fancy cameras can also change the way that people look. There are so many factors that make one picture look better than the other, so it's not fair to constantly compare ourselves. We only take what we see from other people's lives in the best light possible, while we are aware of every aspect of good and bad in our life. The constant comparisons will stop once you take a break from social media. Rather than only judging your worth based on how you viewed somebody else, you will instead give yourself the opportunity to fully appreciate who you are as an individual. It's only when we give ourselves this freedom that we're able to really embrace who we are naturally. Reason #4: It’s Easier to Avoid Competitive Feelings Because of the constant comparisons, you might also feel rather competitive. Being competitive can sometimes be a healthy thing. Whenever you apply for a job, you know that there are at least a few other applicants. This gives you that competitive feeling to want to have the best resume and cover letter. You work harder to achieve more. However, when we get on social media, it's almost like a job application, but for life. We want to have the best profile picture, the catchiest name, and the best captions for our pictures. All of these things make us feel rather competitive. It can create feelings of jealousy, which can harm the view we carry of ourselves. They can also create feelings of resentment towards other people. We might not like people in real life because of the social media presence they have online. You can become jealous of people for how many followers they have, and you might even go to great lengths to try to beat the competition. Perhaps you spend money on clothes you can't afford to impress people. Maybe you go on vacations that are too expensive just for the pictures. When competition gets added into any sort of equation involving our self-esteem and confidence, it can become very risky. By removing yourself from social media, you also remove yourself from the competition. When you compare yourself to others, you lose the individuality that you have. Rather than coming up with your own ideas, you only base them off others that already exist. Give yourself the freedom to be original once again by taking a break from this kind of perspective. Your Information is Being Used Against You There is a lot of information about us online. Whenever you sign up, you give an email, a phone number, and a birthday at the very least. We often willingly give our information up, like where we work, go to school, and who we’re in a relationship with. There is so much more that is unknowingly being marketed towards us that it can be rather jarring when you make the realization how much personal data is collected. Look at this video from The New York Times on how Facebook tracks your data: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAO_3EvD3DY Everything from where you go on vacation to whether you’re going through a breakup might be put into a personal profile that you don’t even know about. Reason #5: Avoid Targeted Advertisements and Shopping Social media and shopping have become more intertwined than ever. Many popular accounts revolve around marketing ads towards their followers. You might unknowingly be giving more into your shopping temptation than you realize. It’s rather scary to think about just how much information about you is out there. The things you look at online will be tracked. This might show up in your ads. Our information doesn't just go with social media either. Sometimes our purchasing habits and just the accounts that we have on other websites can be linked to the ones that are on our social media. It all becomes something like an infestation to your life. How many times have you just Googled one word and ended up getting targeted ads? You might have Googled, “Why does my cat meow at night?” and now you're getting advertisements for cat food. You might have Googled, “How do I fix a broken shoe?” and now you have ads for new shoes. This can lead to shopping addictions. Many people will spend money on things that they can't really afford all because of marketing tactics that have made their way into our personal life. You can go from viewing an emotional post about a friend, to a cute baby picture, to an advertisement for a new dress all within five minutes. That constant fluttering of emotions makes it easier to manipulate your vulnerabilities and get you to make that purchase. Marketing companies know this advantage and are actively using that against you to make more money. Reason #6: Keep Your Information Protected Not only will you keep your personal information protected, but you can ensure that nothing too private from your personal life makes its way into the hands of those that you don’t want it in. Some individuals don't really care how much of their information gets out there because they don't have anything to hide. If you're not doing anything wrong, then what's the harm of people knowing everything about you? In a sense, this is true, but we also have to consider information that we are not aware of. Your phone number could be used and somebody trying to hack into one of your accounts might be able to use this. They can look up what elementary school you went to, and perhaps this is an answer to a security question to get into your bank account. It's easier now than it ever has been for people to make their way into our private accounts, even when we are actively trying to protect them. There are great engineers who have created software that keeps your privacy secured, but there are also great engineers that know how to break through this. We also have to remember information that might come back to haunt us. Maybe you tweeted something angrily when you were 15, and now at 26, that comes up in a Google search that employers make when hiring you. You might not post anything crazy now, but what was posted earlier might still be out there. Even if you deleted an old social media already, it might still exist in some form through different sites or on other people's social media. You can never forget that many people can also take screenshots of what you're posting, so even if somebody doesn't follow you and your account is public, they might screenshot that and share that with other people. We Give Social Media Too Much Time Time really is precious. If you’re not careful, it can slip away from you. Life doesn’t feel so long when we’re sitting at the doctor’s office, stuck in traffic, or waiting for an upcoming vacation. Social media not only takes time away from us literally, but it also causes us to view the world as slow, empty, and meaningless. This robs us of our time in a different way. To really grasp how much time you have on this planet, watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mSpwYQMwvE Life truly is short and will be over in the blink of an eye if we’re not careful. Instead of giving those precious moments to social media, it’s time to take back what few hours we have left. Reason #7: You’ll Avoid Procrastination and Distraction Social media is great because it’s so instant. At any moment, there is constant content being offered up. Social media is a constant. No matter what, you will always be able to click on Instagram and open up, even if it's three o'clock in the morning or if you're sitting on the train on your way to work. It follows you everywhere, so it's easy to rely on it as a first source of entertainment. It should be something that we're using for fun and that enhances our life but instead it can take away from the important things that we need to give our attention to. You might procrastinate over work or be distracted when you're trying to listen to others because you're too busy sitting on social media. It's easy to open your phone to answer a text and then click on an app and then three hours later you realize that you haven't even written the first sentence in your project. Social media absorbs our time because it is a new reality. We have immersed ourselves in a world where time does not exist. This takes away from the time that we have now. It also decreases your ability to pay attention and be engaged in something rather than fully giving your focus to what is happening in front of you. It's easy to get bored with content within five seconds. Things like Instagram and Tick-Tock provide us with a few second-long videos, meaning that it's easier to consume three different stories within just a minute. Then when you have to sit down and listen to somebody talk or watch a presentation that's over 10 minutes, it's almost impossible to pay attention because we're so used to the constant stimulation that social media provides. By getting yourself off social media you can take a step back and really focus on what is calling your attention the most. Reason #8: It’s Easier to Appreciate the Real World Social media keeps us from being able to live in the moment. It can also lead to feelings of isolation. If you go on social media, you can get access to beautiful pictures all across the world. There will always be content that you can view online that you might never see if we did not have social media in the first place. It can open up amazing avenues to new possibilities and present situations or perspectives that could only be gained through what we view in our minds. Most of us don't use social media for this and will instead get absorbed in a different reality. That reality might be revolving around money, fame, and other aspects. This can challenge the reality we have of the world. Rather than focusing on all of the beauty that already exists around us, we constantly seek out beauty through the lens of social media. It leaves us feeling completely isolated. The perspective that you carry is constantly invalidated because instead of both a good and bad balance of life, we only see the positive aspect of life that exists online. It makes us feel incredibly vulnerable and as though we can't find our place. By removing yourself from social media, you free up your time. You appreciate the real world. You can notice the beauty that exists in the nature that surrounds you. You can find gratitude and appreciation for the things that you already have. You can seek joy and happiness by interacting with your family face to face rather than just through the phone. You'll go about your day in a way that you enjoy, where you can make the most of your time, rather than investing all of your emotional time into how you cultivate your online presence. Social media can be great, and it can provide us with a lot of joy and a unique perspective. But it can also rob us of life's beauty if we keep our eyes glued to our phones, rather than what exists around us. Reason #9: You Can Stop Being Stuck in the Past Social media makes past emotions easily accessible. You can check up on an ex-boyfriend with the click of a few buttons. You can go and view all the pictures you’ve posted within the last three years. Every time you log onto Facebook you might only see pictures of the people that we went to high school with. We can go back in time with the internet. Not only does this make it harder to seperate yourself from the past, but you might also struggle to change for the better. Life is all about growth and becoming a better person, but you can’t do that if you stay stagnant with who you already are (or were). We should be in a process of continual evolvement, giving us the opportunity to become better than who we used to be in the past rather than a consistent reminder of the person that we used to be. To avoid this, take a break from social media. Every time you are tempted to look at something from the past, focus instead on how you can pay attention and put emphasis on the future. It’s not always easy, but it is possible to break from the constant desire to look back on history. Never before did we have such access to times that has already happened. One hundred years ago, you would be lucky to have a single picture of a relative, let alone 100s right in your hand from just the past month alone. Social media gives us the power to look back on the past of other people at the same time we view our own. It’s great to reminisce, but it can quickly become a deep dive into things that make us anxious. Sometimes, we can even be triggered back into the same emotions that we experienced at the time of the event we’re revisiting. If you had a terrible relationship with your ex-partner, you might get angry, scared, and frustrated by looking at their pictures. That emotion can carry with you throughout the rest of your day, potentially spreading to people around you as well. Related Questions Social media is a huge part of life. It’s no wonder we have to consider all avenues when evaluating our use. Check out these related questions to take the discussion of social media breaks further. Should I delete my account forever? The fear over having to delete their account can make some users scared of taking a break. Many platforms offer you an opportunity to deactivate your account, so you don’t have to worry about deleting your account forever if you want to take a break. It can be an addiction, so excessive users should be cautious of relapse. Consider ridding yourself of social media once and for all and evaluate how that might impact your life. Is social media bad for your health? Social media has many benefits, but some might worry if it’s taking a toll on their physical health. Social media can impact your mental health. Any excessive harm to your mental health could cause physical effects related to anxiety and depression. This could include digestive issues, frequent headaches, or teeth grinding.